“You’re Very Mellow”

I recently gave a lesson in one of my teaching methods classes and asked for the opinion of my classmates. One of them told me in a grave tone that I was very mellow. This is true. I am definitely not the talkative type. I am more observant than most and can have as great of a time on my own as with other people. I listen before I speak and I prefer not talking for the sake of talking. I am soft spoken and don’t like talking over people. This is just the way I am. It’s a way of being. Why do people think this type of personality needs to be fixed or improved? She is most definitely not the first person to critique me on my quiet personality.

I have been told that I wont make it as a teacher unless I learn to be a lot louder. I don’t agree. My volume level is fine, I know how to project my voice so that it can be heard in the back of the classroom, but I don’t yell. I simply don’t have a loud voice and I don’t think that is something that needs to be fixed. If the way to get students to listen is to yell, then I am definitely in the wrong profession because I refuse to yell to be listened to. There are other ways to win people’s respect than to see who yells louder.

I don’t know how many times I have been told to be more outgoing and to find my voice. I have my voice and I am very outgoing with my endeavors and my passions, I just don’t feel the need to tell everyone and their dog about it. For a while I bought into what people told me and I felt like there was something wrong with me. I thought that I needed to force myself to talk more because I didn’t talk as much as others. I felt that my introverted personality was something I needed to fix, and to be honest, when people tell me so earnestly that I need to fix my way of being, I second-guess my self at times.  But more and more now, I am able to stand by my way of being and brush off those comments after a little contemplating.

I am passionate about teaching and I love the subject I am planning on teaching. I plan on opening up my students to all the possibilities they have available to them beyond school. I am determined and go after the things I want in life. I get a lot done in my own quiet manner and I don’t feel like my quiet way of being is a drawback.  I hope that at some point people really internalize the idea that we need a balance in this world and that our differences instead of needing to be fixed, should be celebrated. In the meanwhile, I will just continue trying to live my life true to myself and resist the “improvements” some people insist would make me amazing.  I am fine just the way I am, thank you.

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