Feeling Lost

Trying to remain positive when your mood is down is a fairly difficult thing to do. How does one remain positive when in the middle of a depressive state? How does one feel good about themselves? Why do I feel down in the dumps for no reason? This is frustrating but frustration only makes me feel worse. I know I must take things one day at a time.

I am unsure about the future and who I am, but isn’t that what the twenties is all about? For someone that is slightly more prone to anxiety does this mean years of anxiety and confusion? I don’t think that necessarily so, there has got to be a way to help this.

Maybe I am looking too deep into things. I am twenty-three, still trying to figure out who I am and what it is that I seem to be missing to find happiness and peace within myself.  The rational part in me tells me I am not supposed to try and have life and myself all figured out. Something tells that won’t ever really be possible. Why can’t I let it go then? I am still waiting for something to happen, something to inject enthusiasm in me and to bring me peace.

My best guess is that what I need to do is to learn to accept who I am. This is a very difficult thing to do because as I have mentioned before I am a classic perfectionist. To do this I will need to restructure the way I have learned to look at life and myself. Easier said than done, but I am willing to put in the work to get there. I don’t believe true happiness and peace will ever be possible until I learn to love and accept myself.

Everything is okay now though, I have to remind myself of that because when I am feeling depressed and anxious I feel as though the world is falling apart, like I am just not good enough, wont ever be good enough. My future begins to look bleak but I have to remind myself that this is not true. I am just in some funk.  A dark cloud is just passing over me, but it will pass. The sun will come again.

I am just lost. It is not the first time, and I am sure it wont be the last. When I decided to start this journey to finding myself and finding peace and happiness, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. I knew my depression was not going to lift over night, my anxiety would not evaporate into thin air, and my perfectionist tendencies would not cease to harass me right away. This will take time, effort, patience and persistence. The good thing is that I am willing to do all this. Deep in my heart I know I will reach a point where I am happy with who I am and where depression and anxiety will be under control. I just know this.  

For now, I’ll do something I enjoy. I’ll read, or watch some good movie that seems to lift my mood. Although I don’t feel like doing anything, I really don’t want to give into the depression. The day is young; I don’t want to spend it depressed, isolated from the world. 

I am sorry if this is all over the place. Just thought I’d put it out there. I am sure many people are going the same thing. With that said, if anyone has any tips or tricks they use that helps them out of a “depression spell” please share it. I would definitely appreciate it and I am sure others will too. 

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8 thoughts on “Feeling Lost

  1. The fact that you are choosing to do SOMETHING shows you are on the right path. Even if it is a little something like watch a movie you love, read a good book, take a bubble bath, etc… A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. So keep stepping. 🙂

  2. I can relate to everything you’re talking about in this post; you articulate the frustration of all those emotions really well. Personally, working out is the best way for me to lift my mood. I guess all those endorphins just allow me to see things differently and be more optimistic post-work out. I also love escaping to a nice coffee shop to read a book; it puts me at peace when I’m anxious.

    1. Great suggestions! I especially like the coffee shop to read. Sometimes its good to just get away from it all. Thank you for commenting 🙂

  3. Hi Liv, since you nomimated my blog for the Leibster award, I thought I’d come and check yours out and I just want to say you are one courageous lady and your blog has completely inspired me. What you say really resonates with me as I have been battling with depression over the last few years. Yes, it’s a slog to stay positive through the dark times, but the fact you are trying shows your huge strength of character. I have found my own blog has become a tool to help me to see the good things in life and to help me make sense of my feelings, and actually your own candour has inspired me to be more open about my own depression on my blog as you’re right, it does help to know that others are going through the same thing. I wish you all the luck in the world on your journey and have faith that you will find your happiness, as the fact you are actively seeking it despite how hard this is shows you have the strength and insight to do so. Keep blogging – you have a new follower! Becky x (beckymayhem blog)

    1. Wow, thank you so much Becky! Thank you for your encouraging words, they really do mean a lot to me. I know depression is not an easy thing to deal with but I sincerely think that a lot can be learned from going through it. I am glad you will be opening up about it more on your blog because it really does help. For years I never talked about my depression to anyone and only recently began making an effort to be open about it and can see it is making a huge difference in my life. I wish you the best on your journey as well and am very glad your following. Now we will both be able to see how we progress towards our goals 🙂

  4. Oh boy, where do I start? It’s been my life’s mission also and now in my 40s I think I’ve found my own answers. But the funks come and go – not deep any more. I wait for them to pass. Other bloggers tell me not to resist but to watch the thoughts as they come and go. All I know is that I don’t listen to myself in those silly moods and I am building a list of what things can get me out of those moods; some in an instant. That list will be personal to you. For example I like DYAC (rude) and Carl Barron a comedian. Another good thing to do is, when you are feeling really happy, write about it – why, what you just did, what you are enjoying. And then read it back when you are feeling down to remember that this happy mood will always return. This too shall pass. I love your blog and your honesty and style of writing. You are one switched on young lady 🙂

    1. You are totally right about things coming and going. I tend to forget that when I am in the middle of feeling anxious or depressed. I will remind myself of that. The ideas you presented are great and I will definitely get working on my own list. Thank you so much for your words!!

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