Trying to remain positive when your mood is down is a fairly difficult thing to do. How does one remain positive when in the middle of a depressive state? How does one feel good about themselves? Why do I feel down in the dumps for no reason? This is frustrating but frustration only makes me feel worse. I know I must take things one day at a time.
I am unsure about the future and who I am, but isn’t that what the twenties is all about? For someone that is slightly more prone to anxiety does this mean years of anxiety and confusion? I don’t think that necessarily so, there has got to be a way to help this.
Maybe I am looking too deep into things. I am twenty-three, still trying to figure out who I am and what it is that I seem to be missing to find happiness and peace within myself. The rational part in me tells me I am not supposed to try and have life and myself all figured out. Something tells that won’t ever really be possible. Why can’t I let it go then? I am still waiting for something to happen, something to inject enthusiasm in me and to bring me peace.
My best guess is that what I need to do is to learn to accept who I am. This is a very difficult thing to do because as I have mentioned before I am a classic perfectionist. To do this I will need to restructure the way I have learned to look at life and myself. Easier said than done, but I am willing to put in the work to get there. I don’t believe true happiness and peace will ever be possible until I learn to love and accept myself.
Everything is okay now though, I have to remind myself of that because when I am feeling depressed and anxious I feel as though the world is falling apart, like I am just not good enough, wont ever be good enough. My future begins to look bleak but I have to remind myself that this is not true. I am just in some funk. A dark cloud is just passing over me, but it will pass. The sun will come again.
I am just lost. It is not the first time, and I am sure it wont be the last. When I decided to start this journey to finding myself and finding peace and happiness, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. I knew my depression was not going to lift over night, my anxiety would not evaporate into thin air, and my perfectionist tendencies would not cease to harass me right away. This will take time, effort, patience and persistence. The good thing is that I am willing to do all this. Deep in my heart I know I will reach a point where I am happy with who I am and where depression and anxiety will be under control. I just know this.
For now, I’ll do something I enjoy. I’ll read, or watch some good movie that seems to lift my mood. Although I don’t feel like doing anything, I really don’t want to give into the depression. The day is young; I don’t want to spend it depressed, isolated from the world.
I am sorry if this is all over the place. Just thought I’d put it out there. I am sure many people are going the same thing. With that said, if anyone has any tips or tricks they use that helps them out of a “depression spell” please share it. I would definitely appreciate it and I am sure others will too.